The List – May 8
Budget Revelations – What to Expect
On the eve of Wayne Swan’s “Fair Go” budget, we’ve got five spoilers fresh from the lockup
5. Budget includes money for escorts
Treasury wonks realised at the eleventh hour that there was going to need to be a sex spend for the budget to have any chance of competing with Craig Thompson for coverage, so they stimulated Canberra’s economy on the national credit card.
4. National currency is now “Cabcharge”
Having had their efficacy as a transferable form of wealth demonstrated by the Speaker of the House of Reps (which, incidentally, would be a great name for a Canberra gym), the treasurer has embarked on a bold new era of monetary policy.
3. Vogue refuses coverage
The slender budget surplus means that Vogue Magazine must ignore it, as part of its commitment to only cover things in a healthy weight range. Their readers remain well-accessorised, but sadly uninformed.
2. FAIRGO is a Labor Party acronym
Fuck, Abbot’s In! Retreat, Grovel, Obey…
1. Next 2 Labor Leaders Fully Costed
Realizing it must present a realistic budget, the party has fully budgeted and costed two leadership coups before the next election.
What have we missed? Tell us below, where it should say “Leave a Comment”, but instead says “Sing us a tune, Batman!”
Seriously guy, if you read this, and you don’t leave a comment, you’re an asshole. Discuss.
No.
Hey, good to know the city’s cultural leaders have started visiting. It’s also great to have you on here, Benito!
The idea of a gym in Canberra called The House of Reps made me do a spit-take all over my screen.
That’s the effect we’re going for!
Totally the editorial “we”. There’s only me. I’m so alone…